Is It A Good Idea To Still Be Friends With Benefits With Your Ex?
I’m sure a lot of you have gotten that text from one of our exes saying “hey, what you doing”. You may have thought about responding.
You may have already responded and lived to tell the tale. If you haven’t, then there will be some things you have to think about. Those texts are usually sent to you for the purpose of doing something to “get that old thing back”.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you have probably considered it. I can tell you that personally, I feel it’s a bad idea.
What is in the past should stay in the past, but I also believe that we need to go through some of the pros and cons so that you know about all the scenarios that can happen when you involve yourself with someone you’ve already been involved with.
We will describe the situation through the eyes of a man being with a woman, but you can adjust it to your particular situation.
The main reason anyone would ever consider getting back with their ex one last time is because they enjoyed their fun time and they want some more.
Primarily if you see this sort of thing happen, it’s because whatever that ex had you might want some more of it, or she might want some more from you which is why she’s contacting you.
A chance at rekindling the relationship
You may also desire to get back together with this person, so you will give whatever encounter she wants to have a shot. Perhaps that is her intention from the very start.
However this type of thing can get messy. I’m sure you’ve seen those couples who have on-again-off-again relationships and you would always say to yourself “that’s so silly they need to stop doing that”, only to find yourself in that same situation.
But we understand emotions are what they are. Perhaps you have some unresolved issues and you see this as an opportunity to enjoy yourself while possibly working on those issues and restarting the relationship.
Maybe you just want to have fun. Whatever you decide to do you need to be clear about your intentions so you don’t cause more trouble then you intend to with this arrangement.
An opportunity to try new tricks
If you or your ex learn some new techniques in bed that you want to try on each other, having a friends with benefits relationship would be an ideal place to do that.
You two already have a familiarity with each other that goes far beyond just being friends so there’s that comfortability factor between the two of you. This would make trying out any new positions are techniques very fun and interesting.
Since the stakes are low, because you are no longer together, there is a lower chance of being embarrassed when the things that you want to try on each other do not work out as well as you might have liked.
Can cause problems with current relationships
If you intend to strike up a Friends with Benefits arrangement with an ex of yours, it is important that neither one of you is in a relationship already. This will do nothing but cause problems for your current relationship down the line, especially if you catch new feelings for her and you want to take it further, or vice versa.
Yes, things may start out fun at first, but when dealing with intimate encounters it is a possibility that feelings can come up especially with a familiar person.
There is a good possibility that she may have done something in bed that was better than the woman you’re currently with and that can cause some confusion, feelings of regret, and second-guessing yourself.
Bringing up past issues
A relationship like this can also do damage to any attempts at closure you may have wanted to have with your old relationship. You may have decided you wanted to leave things where they were but with this arrangement, it is a possibility you can bring up old pain that you may feel the need to rehash with the girl you were with, and that can cause problems for you.
All emotions that you thought you may have gotten rid of have a good chance of arising when you are deeply affectionate with someone that you had left before.
That is one of the main reasons why I tell everyone to date someone else and to not get back with an ex. There’s not too many things that come up that will eventually ruin the whole experience.
Part of finding someone new to date is casual dating. And what better way to do that than to get on some of the best hookup sites that actually work.
You don’t have to actually hookup with anyone through those sites. You just give yourself an opportunity to meet new people and see if you click with each other. If you do, you can take things to the next level.
Confusion about relationship status
Shtupping your ex can also cause problems with your standing as far as relationship goals. Are you doing this to get back together, or are you doing this to have fun? Will you be able to tell the difference, especially in moments that get particularly steamy?
A lot of times when sex is involved, emotions are not too far behind and those endorphins that kick up at the end of the encounter may have you thinking about the situation that you were in once again.
You may decide you want to get back with her, but she only wanted to have fun, so now you have that issue on the back burner, while at first you just thought that this was an attempt at some more fun time.
I believe I have done my best at giving you some things to think about if you’re going to consider pursuing a no-strings-attached relationship with an ex-girlfriend.
Personally, I would prefer to leave things as they are. If the relationship is over, it is over for a particular reason, and the last thing you need to do is go back and rehash what that reason is.
Some people have a hard time making decisions, however, and will let their loins lead in this situation. I figure it’s my duty to let people understand what can happen in this situation so they can make the best decision for themselves.
With that being said, I do understand that there are foolish people out there who like to make foolish decisions. If you have stories of such encounters, feel free to share them with us in the comment section or send them to us, and we will be happy to read them and have a good laugh.