The Best Relationship Advice For When You First Move In Together
For various reasons, many couples move in together as a trial period before marriage. For most couples, this is one of the most exciting phases in their relationship. Ensure that you are moving in together for the right reason. Do not rush into anything or feel pressurized into living together because you have been together for a while. Wherever you are in your relationship journey, your life as it once was will never be the same.
What is important though is honest, open communication and making sure you both are on the same page. Although it will be a huge adjustment for both of you, the understanding should be that it is all about balance and compromise. The great thing about moving in together is that the two of you can now make your own rules. Before taking this leap, there are practicalities that need to be considered.
While being madly in love and the going is good it is essential to talk about important issues. Legally many couples are at risk of being treated unfairly or risk losing everything when their relationship is in jeopardy, the passing or the incapacitation of a partner in a medical situation. Consult an experienced attorney to draw up a cohabitation agreement. A cohabitation agreement is legally binding and it serves to protect both parties in the event of disagreements or the breakdown of the relationship.
The agreement can also determine who is responsible for certain aspects regarding the couple’s finances, who pays certain bills, property, assets, maintenance of the property and even pets. It is advisable for each partner to draw up a last will and testament. In this manner, financial provision for each other can be taken into consideration and further protect your life partner in the event of death.
Where To Live
So the decision is made, you and your partner will move in together. Before looking for a rental apartment, do an inventory of all the stuff you both have. Once you’ve done that, you will realize because of two households coming together there are duplications of many items. Now is the opportunity to jointly decide what you will keep, sell or donate before the move. When combining all the furniture together with all the accessories it is important that everything can fit comfortably into the new place.
A decision then needs to be made where your new home will be, your place, his place or find a completely new place entirely. All of this is dependent on finances. Complete transparency of your finances is important, for both to know and understand what you can and cannot afford. Most couples consider finances yet opt to find a new place giving themselves a shared sense of ownership and starting a new chapter in the relationship.
Allocate household chores between yourself and your partner equally. Stress levels may increase when chores are not allocated evenly. Increase stress levels could result in conflict. Chores include anything from keeping financial records up to date, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and maintenance, etc. When the practical aspects are running smoothly in the home, there is peace and harmony in the home. The best way would be to sit together, make a list and discuss the chores that need to be done. Once the chores are allocated and agreed upon respect each other by adhering to what has been agreed.
Be considered to each others needs and body cloaks. In the beginning, when these things are not done it does not sound as if it is a big deal. When friends pop over and the place is in a mess, or you do not have clean clothes to wear or the roof is leaking it can add unnecessary strain on the relationship. Don’t nag each other. If at any time due to unforeseen circumstances and the budget allows, consider hired help when chores cannot be done. Reduce chore stress by giving each other space and taking downtime from all chores and enjoy a night out.
We all have secrets of some form or another. Learning about your partner’s good habits but more about bad habits could be a challenge. It is the bad habits that need to be addressed sooner than later. Bad habits could be anything that ruffles you up the wrong way. From drinking milk out of the milk bottle, accessing passwords on the laptop to your social media accounts or vote for a presidential candidate whom you think is a complete joke. If you think nothing can disgust you about your partner, cutting his toenails in bed is not a pretty sight. All will be revealed when you start living together.
When this happens, it’s worth remembering that although you live with someone, that person is still an individual. Your partner needs to be allowed to be him/herself. Just how open a book you both are must be discussed. It would be best to openly discuss any potential bad habits or privacy issues at the beginning stage of moving in together.